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[book2thehead]

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[empyrean_mirror]

he should not have suffered the consequences of my cowardice, Heizou.

[book2thehead]

Were your positions reversed and he did the exact same thing, would you want him to feel the same way you are now?

[empyrean_mirror]

he'd have never have hesitated in the first place.

But it should have been me down there anyway.

[book2thehead]

That's not what I asked, Kaveh-senpai.

Please answer my question properly.

[empyrean_mirror]

it would have been better if it had happened to me.

[book2thehead]

It would not have.

And you're still avoiding my question. Would you want Alhaitham to blame himself for something he didn't actually do?

[empyrean_mirror]

of course not.

that's hardly the same thing, though. the comparison is too different.

[book2thehead]

Is it? Enlighten me, then.

[empyrean_mirror]

he didn't deserve it.

[book2thehead]

Why do you deserve it more than him?

[empyrean_mirror]

for all his flaws...his failures have never really harmed anyone.

[book2thehead]

And yet you're saying that were your positions reversed, you would have preferred he let you die. Is that not a failure that would have harmed someone? Someone he deeply cares about, for that matter?

[empyrean_mirror]

that wasn't what I meant. I doubt he'd have failed to begin with but...

I'm the only one who should bear the consequences.

[book2thehead]

Now you're just being stubborn. It's no wonder you're having nightmares if you keep letting your mind spiral this way.

Consider this, Kaveh-senpai: It doesn't matter who does and does not deserve to bear the consequences. It's natural to be afraid of making mistakes. What does matter is putting in the effort to prevent those mistakes from happening again.

[empyrean_mirror]

this is not really about making mistakes, though, is it?

This isn't as simple as saying cruel words in a thoughtless moment. I was so scared to be honest it nearly killed him, Heizou.

[book2thehead]

You've spent years vehemently denying to everyone with ears that you're in love with him. Especially to him. You're fully prepared to take that secret with you to the grave. Of course having those ruins force it out of you was terrifying. You're only human.

I'm not saying it wasn't wrong and that a simple apology will make it all better. I'm saying that this is the fear you need to work on overcoming so that you won't be paralyzed like that again.



To be fair I'm also saying that you're two of the most stubborn people I've ever met, and I've met the Raiden Shogun.

[empyrean_mirror]

I was always so certain that loving him would simply cause him more pain.

and yet the alternative was this.

[book2thehead]

How did he react?

[empyrean_mirror]

he didn't.

[book2thehead]

[I'm sorry, what?]

What do you mean "he didn't"?

[empyrean_mirror]

I mean he hasn't said a word about it. I'm not even sure if he heard me, at this point. But he heard everything else I said...

[book2thehead]

[If they were still in Teyvat, Heizou could already see the headline. Renowned Inazuman Detective Sentenced for the Murder of Former Acting Grand Sage of the Akademiya.

But they're not in Teyvat.......]


Does someone need to talk to him?

[empyrean_mirror]

what, do you think it'd help?

[genuinely kaveh didn't think this was an option?]

[book2thehead]

Well, I would suggest that you ask him about what he heard you say, but I get the feeling you're not ready to do that.

Though I'm also not sure who else he could talk to.

[empyrean_mirror]

to be fair he was underwater

He's always been fairly isolated. He takes a while to warm up and no one much wants to bother getting him to open up.